Battling Anxiety in Scotland

Anxiety. Even with this being my second time studying abroad, I was terrified. Terrified of not making friends, being homesick, not liking my home country and much more. I flew to London and was delirious walking through the airport attempting to make my layover flight to Edinburgh in time. Not only did I figure it out and make it on time, there was someone from the University of Michigan on the flight also studying abroad with me. My nerves settled to a lesser degree knowing someone was with me. I met more friendly faces after emerging from the flight to get on the shuttle to St. Andrews.

We were dropped off at our respective dorms to unpack and unwind before our orientation later that night. At our orientation, we got to participate in a cèilidh which is a traditional Scottish gathering of dancing. I partnered up with two of my fellow Michigan peers and while we were swinging around the room arm in arm and laughing, I was still scared I was not going to be able to make friends.

Fast forward a few months from January 21st to May 1st. It was the day of the traditional “May Dip” that St. Andrews partake in yearly to cleanse their academic sins before exams begin. This involves staying up all night going to pubs, student concerts, and most importantly East Sands, the beach where it all goes down. At 5am when daylight started to break and the beautiful sunrise showed, it was go time. We stripped from our sweats down to just our swim suits in the frigid 50 degree weather. Hand in hand we sprinted into the North Sea shrieking and laughing along the way. Pink and yellow smoke settled over us as smoke bombs went off and the smell of the bonfires invaded our nostrils. We had just run into 30 degree water at dawn, but I would do it all over again to do it with the people I had met. I was surrounded by those two peers from earlier as well as friends from Sweden, Germany, Australia, and many other places in the United States. As we made our way to leave, hundreds upon thousands of students were still laughing and gathered along the strip of beach. This is what makes it all worth it. All the anxiety and yet here I was thinking about how hard it would be to leave some of my favorite people I had met merely months ago. 

The pit in my stomach led me to St Andrews which is an experience I will not ever forget or take for granted. It was the perfect place to mingle with people from all over the world while still getting a top ranked education. The small town provided a sense of community and security as I was able to walk to town and my friends' dorms with ease. The bonds I made with the town librarians, one who happened to be a fellow American, my roommate, professors, but most importantly my wonderful friends. To think I was going to choose London and would have missed out on some of the people I can call some of my best friends and favorite people as well as one of the best experiences of my life. Interacting with culture and learning about new places while getting to meet new people is all worth it for the anxiety at the start.