In the middle of April of last year, I found myself staring at the housing application, unsure about what I wanted my freshman year to look like. I glanced through the various Michigan Learning Communities, and a couple caught my interest. I knew I wanted to be pre-med, so I figured a science-related community such as MRADS would be beneficial, but I had always considered myself to not be a “research person.” I worried it would be too intense, thinking everyone who applied must be students with research experience who knew exactly what they wanted to do. For a while, I almost didn’t apply.
It was almost as though I had a running list of doubts in my head, saying MRADS wasn’t for me, or that it would be too challenging. I kept thinking, “I don’t have enough experience,” and “would it take over my entire life?” I felt underqualified for never even having stepped into a lab before. I had never done anything more than a sheep heart dissection in high school biology, and I was worried being in a real lab would be too much. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to be in a real lab, I just figured I wouldn’t know enough to be able to do it.
Although I had these doubts, there was also a small part of me that thought “what if?” What if I apply, I get in, and I have a really great experience. That possibility was enough to push me to put in the work and write the essays, and I couldn’t be happier that I didn’t let my doubts stop me from what has become one of the best decisions of my life. In the end, I realized I would rather take a chance and risk being uncomfortable than wonder later what I might have missed.
Walking into my first MRADS event during welcome week, many of my previous concerns about what it would be like were quickly resolved. I thought I’d feel behind, but I saw that most of the other students had never conducted research before and took the same chance I did. Instead of feeling out of place, I realized that I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be. At my lab, I spent the first couple months just shadowing and being walked through the experiments. I was nervous that I wouldn’t be able to do it, but there is so much support from those in MRADS and in the lab that it is much more doable than I imagined. I found it helpful to remember that everyone in the program are also first-year students, just stepping into research for the first time. The intimidating and competitive environment didn’t exist. It’s truly a community built with curiosity and support.
More than anything, MRADS has taught me how to be comfortable not knowing the answer. Every time I’m in the lab uncertainties arise, and I’ve learned how to ask meaningful questions that help me better understand the process rather than feel discouraged by what I don’t know. I’ve been able to grow my confidence in my lab technique skills even through making mistakes. Instead of seeing uncertainty as a sign that I don’t belong, I now see it as a natural and necessary part of learning.
If you’re staring at the application and wondering whether you belong, I was there too. MRADS has not only given me hands-on research experience, but has provided a supportive community which has been very beneficial for starting college. If you’re hesitating the way I was, wondering whether you’re “qualified enough” or ready, I understand. But sometimes the most worthwhile experiences begin with a simple “what if?”
