We make all kinds of well-intentioned plans on how to be more successful in life — I’m going to eat better, lose weight, save money, be a better parent, stop drinking, talk to my dad about that thing that’s been bothering me for a decade — and then fail to see them through.

A lot of what’s blocking us has to do with how our brain regulates emotions. As a neuroscientist and psychologist, I’ve spent nearly 25 years studying how the most successful people, from CEOs to Navy SEALs, tackle hard things almost effortlessly.

One of the most effective tools, psychologists have found after 20 years of research, involves a simple tool called WOOP.

WOOP, there it is

The “mental contrasting” piece (WOO: wish, outcome, obstacle) helps energize people around their goals and specify the obstacles in the way. The “implementation intentions” piece (P: plan) fuses each obstacle (the “if”) to a specific action (the “then”) and makes the entire enterprise of regulating our feelings more effortless.

Here’s an example of how we would use WOOP:

Wish: “I want to be more patient with my children when they irritate me.”

Outcome: “I’m going to have a better relationship with them and be a better father.”

Obstacle: “When they call each other stupid, I sometimes lose my temper — I grew up in an atmosphere where people put each other down, and I’m really reactive to that.”

Plan: “If they are fighting, then I’m going to zoom out, remind myself that they’re kids, my wife and I acted similarly when we were young, their brains are still developing, and then get their attention without yelling.”

Read the full article on CNBC.