The idea of a world without monogamous relationships terrifies most people. But why? Think about it: what is the status quo? Jealousy, infidelity and divorce are all rife, even with strong expectations of monogamy, which is an otherwise biologically unnatural and emotionally strenuous societal ritual. If you are not sold yet on that fact, let me tell you why.
Maybe I should soften my stance for a moment to clarify that I slander monogamy while fully believing in soulmates and love. At one point, I even considered myself a hopeless romantic. Everyone deserves to find a pure and true love in their life, but my greater common sense reminds me this is rarely the case.
It never made sense to me why romantic relationships are so complicated in comparison to other relationships. With our friends, we rarely experience rollercoasters of emotions or heart-wrenching breakups because we are not looking for a life-long, live-in partner. But with romantic relationships, we are.
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The bottom line is that monogamy is hard and we are not biologically built for it. Despite the human desire to be heard, seen and loved in a romantic lifetime partnership, our natural urges for sexual exploration are arguably stronger. Terri Conley, a professor of psychology at the University of Michigan, raises an important question by asking, “if we’re hardwired to be monogamous, why do we have to put all these restrictions on people not to cheat?”
